The Heart-To-Heart

No, I’m not talking about that really cool husband and wife detective team television show from the 80’s. If you have pets out there, or better yet, if you have teens in your house, you know EXACTLY what I mean when I mention the “heart to heart” talk. I’ve tried…God knows I’ve tried to get through to cats and dogs everywhere. As you’ve seen, I’ve given live demonstrations on a cat, I’ve tried giving demonstrations on a tiny banana, I’ve even tried sneaking in a birth control pill in my dogs’ food.

All for naught. Apparently, dogs and cats can’t use condoms because (they claim) they don’t have opposable thumbs. Sure, okay, I’ll give that to them, begrudgingly. And I suppose I can understand their complaint that the birth control pill makes their food taste bad. Then again, I’ve seen what they eat, how much worse could it taste? Everything I’ve tried so far has failed to make an impact. But I’m Nurse Nancy, goshdarnit! My reason for being literally is to help prevent unwanted pet pregnancies and fight the pet overpopulation problem. Without that, I’m just a hot chick in an nurses outfit. So I refuse to give up.

I started thinking about when I was a little girl and my mom had important things to tell me. She didn’t try to sneak the information to me during dinner, or do a show-and-tell when I got home from school. No, she just sat me down, like the little adult I was, and talked to me one-on-one. I respected that. She treated me with respect and dignity and let me know exactly what I needed to know. Then it dawned on me that maybe I was going about this entire “Pet Sex Education” business all wrong. I thought maybe I should treat my pets the same way my mom treated me. I figured I’d just sit down with them and have, you know, a “Heart-To-Heart” conversation with them.

Cats and dogs are smart. They’d appreciate me taking the time to sit down with them and just explain why it’s so important for them to practice safe sex. Finally, I though, I’d get through to them. We’d have our talk and then we’d all sit around and watch a movie together, safe in the knowledge that the message had been received. You can see how that plan worked out in my latest video installment:

What I didn’t account for was the incredibly short attention span of cats and dogs. I guess in today’s hustle-bustle world, I should have known better. But I honestly thought I’d get through to them. Maybe it was my approach, or maybe they just don’t like nurses uniforms. Feel free to try it yourself if you think your pets will listen to you better than mine listened to me. But I’m guessing you’ll probably end up with the same result.

In the end, spaying and neutering is the ONLY way to make sure your pets don’t end up with unwanted pregnancies, and your house isn’t filled with unwanted litters. Cats and dogs that aren’t spayed or neutered end up costing taxpayers over 4-million per year in Denver alone, and they end up filling our shelters to the breaking point. So help me spread the word! Get out there and send my links to anyone you know that loves pets, hates wasting tax dollars and wants to do something to solve the pet overpopulation problem.

Right now, the clinics that are working with me in this endeavor are offering some great spay and neuter deals. Just click on the links on the right of this blog, or go to and find a clinic near you. Make an appointment for yourself or someone you know. I mean, I think it would be a great gift if I got a coupon for a spay or neuter in my Christmas stocking.

Spaying and neutering is convenient, simple and most importantly, it’s affordable. I’m open to new ideas you might have to teach pets about safe sex. But in the meantime, I’m just going to keep preaching the message of spaying and neutering. Join in the effort. Every friend or follower helps save the life of a cat or dog. And really, isn’t that what’s really important?

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